Plato's Cave: Living in Darkness

Philosopher Plato wrote the Allegory of the Cave showing how fear keeps us chained and in darkness. Watching this excellent video story reminded me that centuries later, many of us are still living a fear-based life.

Plato’s story shows a man who courageously wanted to live in the real world rather than feel safe in the cave watching shadows. He bravely risked looking at what safety cost him vs. the benefit of living in freedom. The man returned to the cave and shared his testimony, urging other folks to choose truth, but no one else wanted to leave the security of the cave and face their fears.

I’ve been in the cave. I’ve made many choices in my life based on what would cause me the least amount of fear—and the consequences have been devastating. 

Choosing fear robbed me of all the good things God wanted to bring into my life. 

• Seeing who God created me to be
• Believing in God’s love for me no matter my immaturities
• Allowing God to empower me to conquer the Goliaths in my life
• Trusting fully and completely in God’s heart even when I don’t understand why he allows hurt and pain

So how do we press into fear so we can live in the light of God’s love for us? Do the very thing we fear most: intentionally choose to become vulnerable and transparent.

Woundedness causes us to shut down, transformation requires vulnerability and openness. No one is more vulnerable than a child. Choosing to be vulnerable feels unsafe and counter-intuitive to most adults because of the hurt they’ve experienced. That’s why we choose to live in a cave. It may not be the most joyful life, but at least we avoid people and situations that bring us fear.

Jesus’ relationships with his heavenly father, earthly family, disciples, and friends were characterized by openness and a willingness for his heart to be seen. Vulnerability and transparency with safe, caring people are essential for wounds to be healed and our life to be transformed. We have the choice to intentionally narrow our world down to keep fear at bay. This causes a very rigid, black and white worldview. Prioritizing security over relationship significantly impacts our ability to love well. 

But God wants us to take the risk to learn how to face fear with His strength and courage. No longer blackmailed by choking anxiety and fear, we can walk with the Shepherd who will lead us through the valley to the banqueting table beyond. In my book, From the Other Side of the Couch: A Biblical Guide to Relational Living, I share a Roadmap to Freedom explaining how to move from fear to freedom.

I know it’s not as simple as deciding today to be vulnerable and immediately feeling safe with God and others. There will be a gap between making this decision by our will and learning how to receive healing in the areas that caused us to stay in the cave. Continue to ask God to strengthen you and persevere during the gap.

And we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

Is God calling you out of the cave today?

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One Single Word

Today I was reminded how one single word can make an enormous difference in our lives. One word can shape our understanding of ourselves, our paradigm, context for where we've been, and send us on a new path.

Words are used to beat us down or build us up. So much of the hurt we experience originates from slashing words uttered intentionally by someone close to us, often even to ourselves. Some folks respond by absorbing the pain, believing the words are true. Others build a protective wall by hardening their heart. How we respond to words dictates what impact they have on our life.

Lamentations 3 describes the horror of the destruction of Jerusalem, the temple, and exile of Judah's inhabitants. One command was given, resulting in centuries of pain and suffering. The author's emotionally-laden words connect with our own individual wounds and painful stories.

He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead. He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked..I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD." Lamentations 3:5-9, 17-18

So what do we do when we've received too many hurtful words and feel battered and abandoned? Ask God for a new word. A word that will bring light into our inner darkness, hope and vision for this day. 

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:18-23

God's compassion for me is renewed EVERY morning. Such power in that one word. No matter what comes my way today, God gives me a new, loving, compassionate, truthful word EVERY morning. It's my choice to learn how to ask for, and receive, His words.

We all have barriers that keep us from hearing God. Hurt, bitterness, beliefs, disappointment, busyness, etc. Don't be discouraged if you can't hear God today. Ask Him to show you what is blocking his voice. The ability to hear from God will grow as the healing process unfolds.

My word from God came today while sitting in contemplative prayer at a home group leaders retreat. We were learning different ways to incorporate prayer into our groups. God created us with different personalities, ways of learning, and communication styles. Prayer is as individual as we are, so if you cannot hear from God in one way, get creative! Nate introduced us to Praying in Color (www.prayingincolor.com), an interactive way to stay focused while praying. He also taught us the traditional Lectio Divina prayer model, a way of listening with your heart while you read Scripture. The steps are:

1) Read the passage, being sensitive to any particular word or phrase that stands out for you.

2) Reflect on the word, being attentive to what feelings it evokes and thoughts that come to mind.

3) Respond spontaneously to what you are thinking and feeling, offering prayers of thanksgiving, praise, petition, etc.

4) Rest in God's presence, allowing the Holy Spirit to draw you deeper into how this Scripture passage relates to you.

As I read Ephesians 3:14-20, the word "all" grabbed me. I absolutely want "all the fullness of God" in my life. As I focused on the word "all," God started giving me a vision of how he wanted to use me to impact others on a larger scale. Fear popped up. The more attention I get, the more risk there is for hurtful words to come my way. I was immediately reminded of the context of this passage. God promises fear must flea when I'm rooted and grounded in the knowledge that the love of Christ always surrounds me. As I focus on God's love for me, he will expand all five feet of me to be filled with all the fullness of God I can handle. Wow! One single word opened my heart up to an entire world of possibilities! What is God's word for you today?

Author From the Other Side of the Couch: A Biblical Counselor's Guide to Relational Living

Become as a Little Child

Woundedness causes us to shut down, but the transformation process requires vulnerability and openness. No one is more vulnerable than a child. Choosing to be vulnerable feels unsafe and counterintuitive to most adults because of the hurt they’ve experienced as a child. Jesus’ relationships with his heavenly father, earthly family, disciples, and friends were characterized by openness and a willingness for his heart to be seen. Vulnerability and transparency with safe, caring people are essential for wounds to be healed and our life to be transformed.

Every human being has a variety of needs; physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual. Although a newborn has all these needs, they have almost no ability to meet any of them. As a child grows older, needs become more complicated, but the ability to empower ourselves to meet some of the needs grows as well. There will, however, always be some level of gap. God’s plan to address this gap is to facilitate meeting needs primarily through other people. Sometimes God intervenes directly himself, but most of the time needs are met by living a “one another” relational lifestyle.

I see this principle in Matthew 11 when Jesus explains we need to become like little children. Kids understand and accept dependence, so they aren’t shy about freely sharing wants and needs. Kids will volunteer all sorts of information about what they like, what they don’t, how it’s unfair their brother got the bigger piece of cake, and every overheard comment their parents don’t want shared with the world! When Jesus told the disciples they needed to be like a little child to enter the Kingdom of God, he was talking about vulnerability; approaching life with openness.

 The Bible clearly tells us God wants us to experience an abundant, full, prospering life, even in this broken, troubled world. That can only come about when we understand loving well is the key and put all our energy into identifying and pushing through the barriers. The abundant life encompasses love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There’s no way we can achieve any of these fruits without a vulnerable and transparent heart.

Many Christians find it shameful to admit it feels unsafe to trust those parts of us that are most precious with anyone, even God. One of the hardest parts of the healing process is tolerating that horrible exposed feeling while trying to connect with what is true. Being able to trust God’s motives and receive love from Him cannot take place without the uncomfortableness of feeling weak and vulnerable.

In William Young’s book, The Shack, each member of the trinity pursues the main character, Mack. Their intimate, probing questions shine a light on his deeply buried thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. Like most of us, Mack is caught off guard by God’s ability to look past the surface and he feels acutely uncomfortable at his transparency. When Adam and Eve were in relationship with God in the Garden, they lived an open, vulnerable lifestyle. The decision to protect themselves introduced fear. It’s at that point the Bible tells us they saw their nakedness and were ashamed.

I imagine this was what Judas experienced at the last supper when Jesus said someone there would betray him. Jesus didn’t mention Judas by name, but I’m certain Judas felt like there was a huge spotlight from heaven showing the darkness in his heart. Jesus loved Judas dearly and was giving him an opportunity to confess his heart attitude. But Judas was not able to tolerate his own guilt at being exposed. Rather than clearly seeing Jesus’ loving motives and responding to his loving kindness, Judas ran away from what Jesus offered and betrayed him. The weight of seeing his own cowardice and inability to receive Jesus’ love sadly brought Judas to despair and he chose death.

Are you willing to become vulnerable, trusting in the heart of your heavenly Father?

Excerpt From the Other Side of the Couch: A Biblical Counselor's Guide to Relational Living

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