Happily Ever After?

I’m sitting in a hotel room in Springfield, Ohio having just driven the 40 miles from Columbus to attend a wedding reception. Checking in, I realized I’d grabbed my Starbucks card instead of my driver’s license when I changed purses. Shows where my priorities lie!

Wedding celebrations offer the opportunity to step out of the everyday task-filled life and focus on relationship, hopes, and dreams. Listening to conversations around the reception table, guests often share comments about the possibility of couples sustaining a long term loving, committed relationship. Cynicism makes logical sense with the divorce rate skyrocketing. But Jesus instituted an upside kingdom. One not based on WHAT we see with our eyes, but WHO we put our faith and trust into.

Looking at life through a humanistic lens, we focus on mistakes, errors, pain, and hurt. That viewpoint can only logically lead us to expect more of the same in the future. We are living in a broken world with broken people who have hurt us. Worse yet, we have our own issues that cause pain to ourselves and others, even when we mean the best. So how can we find hope to move forward. To fall in love, dream passionately, and follow God boldly? By committing every day to take the hand of your Beloved, the one who created you. Remind yourself that God loves, guides, and protects you in all things at all times and rest in this amazing relationship.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fall, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds. Psalm 73:23-28

This psalm reminds of me the wedding vows I will hear proclaimed today. Sentiments of how the bride and groom care for each other and their vision for moving forward together as a couple. Has your heart turned toward God today? Have you looked in his eyes and seen his love for you in the midst of your circumstances?

Read the book of Psalms. Find the words that express your feelings and speak them to God. Frustrated, hurt, joyful, repentant; David expressed them all. Just like in a marriage, we need to be truthful and honest with God, communicating honestly our fears, irritations, disappointments, and blessings.

Photo from Creative Commons via Photobucket/susano75

Hope Trumps Fear

Just as darkness must give way to light, fear must give way when we choose to allow hope into our heart.

Fear of disappointment is the enemy of hope. How many times have you wanted to be excited about a potential new job or the outcome of a relationship, but didn’t want to set yourself up for disappointment? A great example of this belief is found in the story of the prodigal son.

The prodigal son decided to leave his father’s household and venture out into the world so he could make his own decisions about his own life. The folks he surrounded himself with all left when his funds ran out. Then a famine came and the son ended up in terrible circumstances. He eventually decided to go back home and beg his father for mercy, hoping he'd be allowed to become one of the servants. Not wanting to be disappointed, the prodigal son had absolutely no hope in forgiveness and grace. Fear lied to the son about the father’s heart.

In truth, the father was waiting and watching for his son to come home. Rather than being angry and holding a grudge, the father felt loving compassion and ran to his son, kissing and hugging him. Yes, there were barriers they needed to address, but the father wanted his son to hope into a full restoration of the relationship rather than settling for something less. Opening up to receive his father’s genuine loving embrace changed the son’s heart. It gave him the courage to see and confess his own brokenness as well as hope into personal and relational change.

Living the abundant life encompasses cultivating an excitement and passion to see and connect with God in our everyday life. Fear of disappointment limits our ability to receive all that God wants to bring into our life. It’s impossible to be passionate without hope. Unfortunately, mankind has learned how to beat hope down to a manageable size. We analyze the practicality of our dreams based on reasonableness and risk. Such a life strategy is based on managing fear rather than anchoring to the author of hope.

In 2 Timothy 1:7 we’re told not to live a life out of timidity and fear. Hoping into God’s heart gives us the strength and courage to triumph over fear. Ask God to deposit His hope into your heart. It will change your view about everything.

• Hope that God really does love you all the time, no matter how you feel about yourself and your actions.
• Hope that your heart can be transformed and your life changed.
• Hope that you can trust in God and others rather than self-protect out of fear.
• Hope that God has a wonderful, amazing plan for your life!

Author From the Other Side of the Couch: A Biblical Counselor's Guide to Relational Living

Photo courtesy of medicboyz.blogspot.com