Relationships on earth began the moment God
breathed life into Adam. Dysfunctional relationships began the moment Adam and
Eve believed the serpent’s lies about God’s character and intent.
Genesis tells us that in the beginning, God walked with Adam and Eve every day. God already knew every detail of his creation, yet
chose to experience both Adam and Eve
in a personal, intimate way; walking and talking with them, delighting in their
enjoyment of all He had created specifically for them. That relational
connection allowed them to know and believe in the righteousness of God’s
character. Because of that belief, they were able to trust that God’s heart was
always loving towards them. Then entered doubt.
Most likely, the serpent had been whispering to
Adam and Eve for a long while. Every time they walked past the forbidden tree,
the serpent probably whispered doubts about God’s motivation and questioned his
trustworthiness.
Every human being has these big picture questions,
whether whispered deep down or shouted with a fist raised to the sky. Human
beings question God’s motives. When circumstances do not line up with what we
believe we deserve or what we’ve been taught God should allow, we blame God.
Sometimes we tell God he’s unfair. Other times we’re so disappointed, we
distance ourselves from him.
The serpent tempted Adam and Eve with the ability
to take full control of their own decision-making. Why risk someone else, even
God, not having my best interests at heart? I suspect each one of us would have
made the same decision to have autonomy and ultimate control over our own life.
I know at one time I would have made that decision.
At the moment when Adam and Eve acted upon their
conclusion and chose control over relationship, their eyes were opened and the
pair realized they were naked. I don’t think this passage was talking about
their physical eyes. Instead, this talks about looking at themselves and each
other through relational eyes. In that instant, realizing they were cut off
from the source of love, all the responsibility for loving well rested solely
on each individual. What an unimaginable heavy burden that realization must
have been. How, in the name of all that is holy, were they supposed to know
themselves, each other, and God so intimately well that they could do relationship
perfectly?
I imagine panic set in pretty quickly, especially
as they heard God calling for them in the Garden. This was the first relational
test on their own and how did they handle it? They hid, lied about it, and then
pointed fingers at each other. The ability to be humble, sacrificial, and
truthful was decimated when the connection to God was severed. How utterly
tragic for them and for all of humankind. The relational consequences
experienced by the generations following Adam and Eve’s removal from the garden
have been devastating.
Prior to banishment, the relationship between
husband, wife, and God was an unending flow of care and love between and among
them. Adam and Eve understood who they were and embraced their worth and value
from within the relationship with God. Now separated from God, Eve would look
for her worth and value from her husband. But Adam’s heart would no longer be
turned toward Eve or God as his relational needs could now be met solely by the
work of his hands.
Once the connection to God was gone, humankind
needed to learn how to love well on our own. Important relational skills needed
to be re-learned such as communicating needs, listening to each other without
becoming defensive, and moving toward each other when hurt or angry. Without
direct access to God’s compassion, empathy, grace, and forgiveness, Adam and
Eve must have begun to distance from each other. I can draw this conclusion
both from personal and general human experience, but also from looking at the
account of Cain and Abel. Children learn from the relational model they see at
home. It seems pretty clear that Cain did not know how to communicate and
process his hurtful feelings towards his brother and God.
I wish I could have heard what Adam and Eve told
their boys about God and their actions in the Garden. Did they take responsibility
for their decisions or did they continue to blame each other? What we do know
is that each son had a different view of God which showed up in their
sacrificial presentation. Abel evidenced his reverent heart attitude by
bringing the best sacrifice to God. Cain, however, seemed to be resentful from
the beginning. Maybe he was angry at missing out on the positive benefits of
living in the Garden. Maybe he thought God judged Adam and Eve too harshly and
he was bitter, believing the lies the serpent told about God’s tainted motives.
When Adam and Eve were cut off from all the
goodness of God, it negatively affected the physical world and our physical
bodies as well. To me, the account of Cain is the first evidence of a person
being fundamentally broken. In my definition, broken people have either lost or
were born with (and never developed) the capacity to form a relational
connection. They do not value the feelings of anyone other than themselves;
therefore, they can treat others cruelly without feelings of remorse. Genesis fast forwards in time and shows us what
happened when this brokenness spread through the land.
The Lord saw how great man’s
wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts
of his heart was only evil all the time. (Genesis 6:5 NIV)
In a comparably short amount of time, humankind
become so broken that the Lord was grieved and filled with pain that he had
even created life (Genesis 6:6). How heartbreaking for God, whose sole purpose
in creating us was to teach us to love. God decided to give humankind one more
chance to choose a lifestyle of love, and he sent the flood to cleanse the
earth of its brokenness.
Once the ark came to rest, God lovingly began
protecting humankind from themselves by giving Noah, Moses, and Abraham
guidelines and commandments designed to show us our need for God. Kind of a
reverse psychology approach. By trying to live up to a set of behavioral
standards we could never meet, we would hopefully recognize the futility of
figuring it out on our own.
For I have the desire to do what is
good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to
do; no, the evil I do not want to do -- this I keep on doing.” Romans
7:18-19 NIV.
We hear Paul’s frustration and confession that in and of
himself, he cannot live life well. Such an admission leads him to the truth
that Jesus Christ came to free us from striving to follow the law so we can
live according to the Relational model. This model is based on continuously
communicating with God about our self-protective barriers. It’s humbling and
embarrassing when I get those light bulb moments and a blind spot is brought to
my attention. My first reaction is to defend and cover up -- exactly what Adam
and Eve did in the Garden of Eden. But these days I want to receive healing
more than I need to hide so I’ve learned how to endure the initial anxiety and
welcome the revelation. How about you?
